Club Soda member Jill has been reflecting on her relationship with alcohol after 100 days without touching a drop.
Well I have been reflecting on my relationship with alcohol since being alcohol free. I used to think alcohol was my friend, my therapist, my relaxer, my comforter. Alcohol was my release, yes why not have a good drink, a bit of fun after a stressful day. Or have a good drink to celebrate a happy occasion, or just have a drink, why not everyone else does.
But alcohol was not my friend
It is my enemy, my crafty tricker. Who wants a sociopath as a friend!
Yes alcohol you…you made me feel guilty, have periods of low self-esteem. You made me act out of character, change my personality, do things I am ashamed of. You made me suffer days of feeling physically ill, with headaches and vomiting, unable to sleep at night. Socially you embarrassed me, made me loud, garrulous, do things that I would never do sober, made me feel ashamed. You made me incredibly anxious, have panic attacks, feel very depressed. You caused me to take increased amounts of antidepressants and tranquilisers when I had no neeed for them. You stopped me grieving properly for the people I have loved and lost.
You have caused family arguments, made my loved ones worried.
Well no more, you are no friend. I am finished with you. It’s no point trying to come back into my life, don’t bother trying to tempt me, it wont work.
I have clarity now. I see you for what you are. I have grown in the last 100 days. You have been marketed very well, you have tricked so many lovely people.
But my door is now slammed in your face. Go drown yourself in your own sorrows just as you made me do at times. Oh and by the way just for the record, you’re not that powerful, people stop drinking you everyday, they break you and come out of denial. Adios ethanol!