Change and optimism
Change is hard work, but it is much easier if you can engineer a dose of optimism.
In this webinar Laura shares her very bad week and introduces you to The Kubler-Ross Change Curve to explore the stages and journey of changing your drinking, and discusses how your internal saboteur keeps you downbeat. You need to strive for optimism.
To make change happen you need to challenge your internal saboteur by developing a more optimistic mindset. In so doing you will have the energy you need to make change last.
If you feel low or are at the depression element of the curve about the goal you have set yourself, remember to take the effort to switch to an outlook with more optimism.
This is not permanent – it is not an all or nothing situation
Try and move from the pessimistic “I will never do this” point of view and remind yourself that this may be temporary: “I am probably tired“. Other examples include:
Pessimistic (this is permanent) mindset
“I can’t stop craving”
“I will never manage to get through this”
“I am not as much fun”
Optimistic (this is temporary) Mindset
“I am craving now because I am thirsty/tired”
“I have done 10 days so I can do 10 more. it is possible”
“I just feel awkward in this situation where I used to drink, but at other times I feel more energised”
Catastrophising does not create optimism
The sky will also not cave in. We are great at catastrophising how we feel (also called pervasiveness).
“I let everyone down”
“Books are useless”
“I need to drink to sleep”
“I have let xxx down”
“This book is useless”
“Some nights I don’t sleep well.”
Your internal saboteur/automatic responses damage optimism
- How would you challenge these?
- Do you see any of these being the biggest challenges for you?
- Would challenging these automatic reactions help your optimism?
Overgeneralisation: “There is no point trying, I will never do it”
Disqualifying the positive: “I only managed two weeks so I have failed”
Mind reading: “I know no one likes me at this party”
Fortune telling: Predicting the negative outcome of an event “I will only be really bored and boring”
Emotional reasoning: “I feel stupid and out of my depth so I must be”
Labelling: Instead of just lapsing and realising it was mistake labelling yourself; “I am a failure”
Personalisation: Taking personal responsibility for events you cannot control. “The courier lost the documents”
Blaming: Holding other people exclusively responsible for your issues. “my boss drives me to drink!”
Balance ambition, joy and connection to aid optimism
Key to this is keeping a balance between your need for achievement, enjoyment and connection with others keeping you energised for the journey ahead.
“You cannot create change from a place of low energy”
Laura then encourages you to focus on the things you can change, and begin to make a plan to keep your optimism high.