Dear Mummy: The Joys of Sober Parenting
Mothers’ Day is about treasuring the people closest to you, and appreciating their roles in our lives. So we are sharing two moments from Club Soda members when mothers were happy they had changed their relationship with alcohol, and discovered the joys of being present. The first is a letter from a daughter to a mother, a second is a mother’s note about watching a son’s football match – both joys of sober parenting.
I thought I would write you this letter not to be nasty but to tell the truth. I’ve just been writing my three positive thoughts for the day in my old diary and something caught my eye which upset me but I thought I would tell you. I found 2 pages where I had scribbled down how I’d felt angry and about all of the nasty events we’d been through where you’d been drunk, even ones I remembered from when I was little.
Anyway the purpose of this note was to tell you the truth. Now that I am a bit older I can really understand why you were like that and I understand things haven’t always been the fairest for you. I appreciate you so, so much and everything that you have done and do for me. I used to get so upset that I even wrote that I wish you had never had me. I know we haven’t always had the best relationship but I want to tell you how proud I am of you, you have been amazing with your no drinking and I really do appreciate it! You’ve come such a long way and I’ve noticed such a big difference!
You are so kind hearted and lovely, you are an inspiration. You’ve done so much for me recently and I can’t thank you enough.
Since you’ve stopped drinking you are like a whole new person and I wish that I was like you. You look so young and radiant and you have so much willpower and you are fit and healthy.
I wish I had your confidence too! I think you are so brave.
Anyway my point is… 2 years ago I was writing so many negative things about you and how upset I was with you and now you are in every single one of my gratitude entries because of what you have done to make my day positive. You’ve completely changed your life around and it’s amazing!
Things might not be the best for you and I know that I can be a handful and that your partner is not always the nicest but you continue being such a great person and you bring positivity into my life and others around you.
You are definitely my role model and the best Mum going! Words cannot express how much of an awesome person you are.
I really hope this letter makes you realise that not only have you done something for yourself, you have completely changed my perspective on life and made me love you more than anything.
I am so proud of you Mummy xxx
Joys of sober parenting
71 days AF [alcohol-free] and I’ve just got back from watching son #3 play his football match.
They won 9 – 3 . My son was made captain. His little face when they gave him his captains arm band. I welled up. I had to pretend the wind was in my eyes. He was so chuffed and I was the first person he looked over to, to see if was watching. I gave him a thumbs up.
Just so proud of myself that I was there to share that moment with him.
Yes I’ve probably missed lots of these moments when I’ve been stuck in bed with a hangover not “being arsed” to get out of bed to watch my sons football match. Yes “friends” can call me boring for not going out and getting drunk anymore. But seriously do not care.
I wouldn’t have missed that moment for the world!