In the latest part of her sober journey, Kim talks about Little Sober Gifts: how much easier it is to appreciate the little things when you’re not drinking.
I love sobriety; it keeps giving me little unexpected gifts. In the last few weeks I’ve gone to a London group meeting – they saw The Girl On The Train, I rocked up afterwards and met them in a private members club where we necked AF beer and got to know each other. It was just lovely. A week or so another group of us met up for an evening at a brewery! We were there to test some AF ales that are yet to go on sale. There was masses of food, cheese,chocolate, ale and ace company. Seriously, when did my social life become such fun? And seeing how beer is made, I never to bothered to find out when I was a lush-head fuckwit, but actually its very interesting. And the dude doing the talk was hot!
Then last weekend I did a trip to Edinburgh to meet some new sober peeps. Another trip on my own. Guys, I’m really starting to love these. Within 15 mins of arriving I hooked up with a great group of people on a free evening walking tour that I just stumbled on. Then the next day a fabulous lunch with some ladies. A spinnerer chick (who knew people actually spin wool, I thought it was automatic or in fairy tales!), a lady who’s a shining example to me of how to be sober in year 3, and just in general a wonderful bunch of women whose company I cherished and whom I am so grateful to have met. I also met a Scottish squirrel.
After a long lunch I sat in a café and worked out what to do with my evening. I found on Google that Edinburgh has one of the world’s top ten cocktail bars. I may not drink but f*ckit, I’m not missing out on that! So off I trotted, bobble hat bobbing, trance music playing whilst Mrs Googlemap gave me instructions on where to find the bar. I entered the underground bar which had crazy hip hop music playing and ordered a mocktail. Within minutes 3 wonderful ladies from Preston sat down with me, full of questions and wonder at how and why I could come to a bar on my own. And to me it doesn’t seem odd now. I.don’t.care.what.people.think. On my own in a bar I must be Billy no mates/weird/an ageing hooker/on the pull. Think what you like. I’m.not.bothered. I am happy on my own. I’m sassy and confident. This is sober life for me. I wanted to go for dinner on my own but ended up in the bar for ages talking to these women and here’s the reason why. One of them asked to buy me a drink. Inner sigh, here we go A) In a cocktail bar on my own = 150 weirdo points. B) In a bar on my own not drinking = 150 million weirdo points. Again more questions and of course I was banging on about sober support forums and how great it all is. One of the ladies started asking me so many questions, and eventually admitted she has a problem and needs support. I hope she gets support like I have, it felt so wonderful spending time with her and her friends, talking about my new sober network, and my friends.
Back from Edinburgh to deal with just finding out my beautiful mum needs open heart surgery. And it’s horrible. It’s scary. She’s scared and I’m scared. It’s a big fat ball of scaredupness. But yet again my network has reached out and given me support. Instead of my OHMYGODITSTHEENDOFTHEWORLDANDALLABOUTME reaction, I asked for advice and I have received advice. I am dealing with facts and not ifs. I will be there for my mum and be able to look after her to the best of my ability. I have had the best support a girl could ask for.
A few months ago my flat nearly burnt down and a mini army of my new friends offered to come to my charred up flat with marigolds to clean – I mean seriously, how cool is that?