The next 100 days after the first 100 days
Club Soda member Sarah Broadbent posted this on our Facebook group recently – it is such a beautiful and useful post that we asked her to let us share it more widely. So here it is: Sarah’s advice for those who have completed 100 days alcohol-free on how to complete the next 100 days!
Hi lovely Soda friends
It seems that so many of you have recently reached the 100-day milestone after completing Dry January that I thought I would share my thoughts on keeping going for the next 100 days (I’m currently 223!) and how things have been for me.
Firstly huge huge congratulations on getting through the hardest part – you should be very proud of yourselves .
Secondly – don’t let complacency get the better of you. I remember having lots of thoughts around this time that maybe I could moderate every now and again – but really who am I kidding! Part of me thinks I could but I always focus on how great I feel and how far I’ve come and I just don’t want to throw that away. My 100 days was around Christmas so I made sure I did extra planning to stick to my guns. This really helped me stay focussed and I would definitely recommend doing a WOOP for days or evenings out.
Now that the battle has become a little easier you will be aware that you have so much more time – and this only seems to increase. Make sure you try and fill your time – start new hobbies – rekindle old ones – try meditating (the Insight Timer app is just awesome. Go for walks and get out into nature. Read (I have found that keeping reading “quit lit” has really enforced my desire to stay sober). I re-joined the gym and go to yoga classes 3 times a week and swim a few times a week and feel so much better for it.
Being sober has really given me the time to start sorting my head out and boy I was holding on to a lot of shit – numbing things with booze for all my adult life. This is hard but also incredibly rewarding. I feel mentally stronger than ever and I actually like myself again and understand me.
Be true to yourself. I was a “yes” person – constantly running around trying to please everyone (maybe trying to make sure that everyone liked me – my self esteem was rock bottom). I didn’t set boundaries for myself and despite being 46 never really addressed how I was feeling or what I really wanted. This has been HUGE for me. Very scary at first – totally out of my comfort zone and I have had to push myself to listen to my body and head and be true to it. I cannot express how much of a positive change this has had on me and those closest to me. Being sober gives you time for yourself so use it!
Be present in your lives. We spend so much time berating ourselves for things we have done in the past and worrying about the future. But now is the time – it is the moment to enjoy. Meditating has really helped me do this. There is so much joy out there and to be seen – but I missed it before. Being present has given me joys that were long lost.
Probably the biggest joy for me is my relationship with my kids 13 and 16 – being fully present with them has created a deeper bond than I have had since they were tiny. I know how much more they respect me and I have time to truly listen and be there for them which is priceless.
My relationship with my OH has gone through some awful times and I really didn’t think we would be able to work things out. He carried on drinking – it was hard – I built a wall around myself which ultimately did me no favours. Having my own strength has enabled me to let me let my wall down and to be truly honest about what I need and want. This has been a revelation. He stopped drinking for 3 months and now drinks occasionally as we both know that life is so much better without being twatted every weekend. I am hopeful that we are working through stuff and have felt like we are falling for each other again – which is so much deeper than when we did it originally pissed!
My last bit of advice is to keep posting and reading posts here on Club Soda – it has been without doubt my number one staying sober resource. I can’t thank Laura Willoughby and Jussi Tolvi enough for giving us this platform to share our thoughts and problems. So many amazing wonderful people that are in my life now – even though most are virtual friends – they mean the world to me and have helped me 100% to get to where I am today. Try going to Club Soda socials if you can. I was literally terrified and shaking the first time. But I’m so glad I did – it’s wonderful to meet people on a similar path.
Whether you are on day 1 or day 101 – keep going peeps.
Be kind to yourselves.
It gets easier and it is so worth it.
Peace and Love to you all