The Next Round: What happens after you change your drinking?

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The Next Round: Victoria Regained Her Sundays

Victoria Vanstone is best known for the Sober Awkward Podcast. A candid and humorous podcast co-hosted with Hamish Adams-Cairns. The duo dives into the ups and downs of living an alcohol-free life, sharing personal stories, practical advice, and the awkward moments that come with sobriety. It won Best Wellbeing Podcast award at the British Podcast Awards, cementing its place as a valuable resource and support for the sober-curious community.

Victoria has been a mate of Club Soda for a long time. You can read and hear her  prevous contribution to our Online Mindful Drinking Festival held in lockdown in 2020. She recently visited the Club Soda tasting Room with her co-host Hamis, and we had a chance to catch up and disucss her book – A Thousand Wasted Sundays.

In this chat, Victoria shares how she transformed her life by quitting drinking, reclaiming her Sundays, and finding joy in the simple things. Her story is both inspiring and relatable, as she talks about the ups and downs of ditching alcohol and how she’s building a life she loves, one sober day at a time. Here’s how she did it and why it mattered so much.

Breaking the Binge-Drinking Cycle: “I Knew I Needed Help”

Victoria’s journey started with the familiar cycle of binge drinking on weekends and the inevitable anxiety-filled Sundays. Despite trying countless ways to cut back, she found herself stuck in the same pattern.

“I tried every trick in the book—water between wines, everything—but nothing ever worked.” 

The turning point came after the birth of her second child. She woke up with what she called the “anxiety monster” at the foot of her bed. This moment of clarity made her realise she needed a different approach.

“I remember walking out and seeing my husband, and I said, ‘I think I need help. I need someone else to intervene because what I’m doing isn’t working.”

That realisation led her to seek therapy, and it changed everything. She learned that the root of her drinking went much deeper than she thought.

“It’s About Finding Out Who You Were Before Alcohol”

For Victoria, quitting drinking wasn’t just about giving up booze; it was about rediscovering who she truly was. Therapy helped her connect the dots between her past and her drinking habits, including childhood experiences of rejection that shaped her into a “people pleaser” and the life of the party.

“I was always the mad one, the entertainer, because I wanted to keep people close. It all stems back to childhood stuff,”

 

Regaining Sundays: “Waking Up with a Steady Heartbeat”

One of the most beautiful transformations in Victoria’s life has been reclaiming her Sundays. Gone are the anxiety-filled mornings, replaced with calm and peace.

“I say on Sunday morning now, I wake up with a steady heartbeat. For me, that is one of the pure joys of a Sunday.”

This simple yet profound change has allowed her to approach weekends with a sense of excitement instead of dread, filling her time with meaningful activities or just enjoying the peace of a clear mind.

She calculated that over 26 years of binge drinking, she wasted more than 1,000 Sundays. Sobriety has given her those days back, allowing her to reconnect with herself and her family.

“I’m capable of witnessing my failures and my successes. My life is much simpler when there’s no preoccupation with alcohol and no effects from it. I’m free to do whatever I want, whether that’s nothing or everything.”

Navigating Social Pressures: “I Needed to Step Away from the Nightlife”

Victoria found it challenging to navigate social situations when she first quit drinking. The pull of old habits and social pressures made it tough to feel comfortable in spaces where alcohol was the norm.

“I had to fill my days and stop going out at night for a while because that was toxic” 

She began exploring new activities, joining clubs, and revisiting old hobbies like pottery and ocean swims. These became her go-to ways to fill the time and rediscover herself. Her advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed by this transition is simple: take it slow.

“Go out for 10 minutes the first time, then try again for another 10 minutes a week later. Build up your sobriety confidence,” 

Motherhood and Sobriety: “I Want to Give My Children a Choice”

Being a mum was a huge part of Victoria’s decision to quit drinking. She candidly talked about how her identity as a mother clashed with her former party-girl self, leading to feelings of guilt and shame. “It was the first ever real consequence to my drinking habit,” she admitted, describing the difficulty of parenting while dealing with hangovers.

For Victoria, sobriety wasn’t just about her well-being; it was about setting a positive example for her kids. She hopes to offer them a choice she never felt she had.

“I want to take out that 50% generational influence so they have the other bits—culture, environment—but at least they’ll have a choice. That’s all I can give them.”

Rediscovering Joy: “The Simple Life Is Enough”

One of the greatest gifts of sobriety for Victoria has been rediscovering the simple joys that had been lost in the haze of drinking. From taking in the beauty of flowers to enjoying quiet moments with a book, she has embraced a slower, more intentional pace.

“It’s funny, the simple life… I love reading a book. I love just being with my family, cooking,” 

She encourages others on a similar journey to explore what makes them happy—things that don’t revolve around alcohol.

“It’s about finding joy in your life that doesn’t involve lying in bed feeling like you’re going to die,” she laughed.

“Never Underestimate the Cycle Breaker”

Victoria’s story is one of resilience, courage, and transformation. She sums up her journey with a message that’s not only personal but universal: “Never underestimate the cycle breaker.” By choosing to quit drinking, Victoria has not only reclaimed her Sundays but also created a positive path for her family and community. Her journey reminds us that real change is possible, and that the reward isn’t just a life free of hangovers but one filled with genuine joy, peace, and purpose.

“Sobriety isn’t about alcohol at the end of the day. It’s about finding out who you were before it and then discovering who you are after it”

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