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From Secret Drinker to Sober Mummy – The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley

By Posted in Skills and Tips

On this guest webinar “Sober Mummy” Clare Pooley, author of The Sober Diaries book and the blog Mummy was a Secret Drinker talks about her first 1,000 days sober, and how it’s changed her life.


I quit drinking on 2nd March 2015, so this is my three year soberversary. It seems like a great time to talk about how going sober has transformed my life, and the changes I discovered in the first year (which is detailed in my book The Sober Diaries), but then also how the benefits kept coming in year 2 and 3. I’ll talk about the reasons I decided to quit – the insomnia, anxiety, self-hatred, the wine belly and – crucially – my children. I’ll discuss why I think (after many failed attempts) this time it worked – changing the way you think about booze, being excited not scared, blogging and REALLY KNOWING that moderation isn’t an option.

I discuss the first 100 days – the importance of community (like Club Soda), the ‘tool box’ to help get through cravings and deal with ‘wine o’clock’, socialising and dealing with other people, taking one day at a time… I’ll talk about how for me, and many people, things get easier after 100 days. My anxiety lessened, I had more energy, less belly, I felt like a much better mother – more patient and more present, and I slept like a baby. I started to be able to think about ‘forever’… …then I got cancer.

I talk about how grateful I am that I was sober before my diagnosis, and how different things might have been. I’d have probably ignored the lump, at least for a while, and I’d have fallen apart in front of my children. We think that alcohol helps when we’re going through a traumatic time, but actually being sober makes you so much stronger and more able to cope. I’d imagined that year 2 and 3 sober would just be ‘more of the same’, but I was wrong.

I discuss the changes I noticed in year 2 – how I lost my fear of ‘coming out’ as alcohol-free, how I felt so much more creative, so much braver and how my world got so much bigger. I also felt this need to ‘give back’ which is so fundamental to AA.

And, finally, I answer your questions…

Other books mentioned by Clare:

Jason Vale: Kick the Drink

Allen Carr: Easy Way to Control Alcohol

Annie Grace: This Naked Mind

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